The nang’s first conquest was my arms. I discovered it
the moment I tried to grab a piece of toilet paper. Not only was I unable to
perform such a simple and routine movement, but a horrendous pain also
assaulted my muscles.
I wanted to scream, but I held back. I wasn’t the only
person in the bathroom; through the cubicle door, I could hear the presence of
at least a couple of other office workers.
***
They call them nangs and they contain laughing gas,
which is actually nitrous oxide. If you inhale it, you’ll feel the barriers
that limit your mind crumble. You’ll be able to express yourself freely and
laugh at the world’s seriousness.
And if you get hooked on that feeling, so free of
prejudice and so sensorially light, your body will end up trapped right in the
same barriers you thought you had torn down. Your muscles will become soft,
whiny nuisances, and your brain will wander among swirling dizzy spells that
push it towards an extreme lightness until it settles into an absolute
numbness.
This last part, however, I’m not going to tell you
because I don’t know it. I’m just a salesman. My display window overflows with
products and I don’t have the time—nor the intention—to get to know them all in
detail. My job isn’t to warn; it’s to sell. So you won’t hear that last part
from my mouth. I just offer you the product.
Nangs are available in some Australian shops like this
one. And for a modest price, I can sell you the nangs along with some
cigarettes and mints to make your trip more pleasant. Are you game?
***
The nang’s second conquest was my legs. When I tried
to get up from the toilet bowl, I felt a burning tingling in them.
After giving up on the attempt due to the intense
pain, I sank into the bowl. My backside ended up partially submerged in the
dirty water. I couldn’t do anything to get out of the jam. Any muscular
movement, no matter how small, triggered a criminal pain.
At that moment, stuck in the toilet bowl, feeling the
edges of the hole compress my legs and back, I sank slowly and inexorably. I
had my entire backside sunk in the cesspool. I didn’t know what or who had left
me in such a state of muscular helplessness. An alienating dizziness was the
cherry on top.
The cause of this condition is the nang you’ve been
inhaling non-stop,
the doctor who attended to me and provided first aid at the hospital informed
me, after they got me out of the mess.
Who got me out? The office workers from the bathroom
and the onlookers who gathered after I, with my last strength, called for help
and wished, at the same time, that my whole life would go down the drain of
that bowl, disappearing forever.
***
The nang’s final conquest was my will to live.
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